I notice that after Dexter had his Black Labradog contest, Mango has now regained the spotlight and is running a "I wanna be like Mango contest".
I thought long and hard about entering the contest...
Why do I wanna to be like Mango?
Do I want to be like Mango?
What qualities make me an avid and competitive Mango-likeness?
The slobber. I can't compete with that!
Why is being a Mango so special?
Does being a Mango-likeness make me more attractive to the ladies?
How can I gain an extra 45642645123098 rolls of skin to my already floppy jowls?
Do Mangoes taste nice?
Am I realistic candidate for this contest?
Should I nap 23 hours and 45 minutes a day instead of my usual 23 hours and 44 minutes a day to increase my napskills in order to portray a more realistic Mango-likeness?
How much skin should I be showing to keep it G-Rated?
Do I need to take a week off and get up close and personal with the Mango to study his RH self to learn what I need to be a successful Mango-likeness?
Then I had a revelation....
I cannot be a convincing Mango-likeness, it is impossible! I like my scootery runs and bikes and walks too much, I like to be clean and slobberfree 99% of the time, I don't have enough excess chinskin, I am too small, I am too Labralike, the list goes on.
But most of all... I am far too demure and modest:
I can't go parading around my privates to just anyone...